I am going to be a mom. Not right away, because you know these things take time, but hopefully in the next year I will have at least one daughter. I'm hoping for two.
I don't have the words to describe how odd this feels. It's something I knew would happen one day, but it was always something I would get to someday, like balancing my checkbook or cleaning out the junk drawer.
I came close two years ago, but then I broke my leg and it made me question my ability to be a single parent. When it took me seven months to get out of the cast and over a year to get back to semi-normal, it just made me question myself even more. This last year was even worse, what with Mom having three joints replaced and work going crazy. I just wasn't sure that this was still something I wanted.
I have been thinking about it seriously for the last few months and yesterday I realized that not only did I desperately want to do this, but it was finally time.
In case it isn't clear, I'm going to be a foster parent with the intent to adopt, assuming the girls like me and I don't screw up this parenting thing too badly. I will be asking for a pair of sisters. I figure it's like Rat Terriers, you can't have just one. Back in the day, when I thought about having children, I always hoped for twins. This will be even better, because I won't have to change any diapers.
So, future daughters, let me warn you, I am a little crazy. I am way too attached to my dogs and books. And I do talk too much. I will probably embarrass the crap out of you and make you want to hide when I show up at school.
But I will be there. I will care about you. And I will do my best. I hope it's good enough.